Ok, so to help you understand my post and thoughts today, I would like to share a story with you. I am going to take you back around about 12 months ago, where I was at a convention. Now this is not a work convention, but more a convention for young single adults that are held annually. The idea is, those that are between 18-31 who are not married attend these conventions that are normally 4-5 days long. Young single adults attend to meet other of the same faith, have some fun and the ultimate result, is to find that special somone. Mormon's like to marry young, when I say young, I mean on average any time from 18 and hopefully before you turn 31. However, there is a stigma that if you reach your late 20's and still single, there has to be something wrong with you...
Here I was 29, still single, at a young single adult convention (YSA convention) trying to hang onto my youth and joining in with much younger YSA's at this convention. The good news was, my friend was with me, who is also the same age, so I was not entirely alone. (remeber that stigma I was telling you about... keep that in mind as I continue to set the scene). It was a hot summers NYE and I was getting ready for a ball that was being held at this venue, with 8 other girls that I shared my room with. While my friend and I were doing our hair and make-up, this young 21 yr old rushed into the room, and expressed with horror in a loud whisper her dismay that there was a 30 year old girl in the other room, who was still single and at the convention. She was saying things like" why is she here", "she is sooooo old", "I cannot believe it" and the last one was "I would be so embarrassed to be here at convention being single and 30". Until this point, I did not realise the girls I had been sharing my dorm room with for the past few nights did not know my friend and myself were indeed 29. I looked at my friend, she looked at me and we didn't know if we should laugh or cry with this situation we were in. So my friend spoke up. The conversation went something like this "Oh did you know that we are actually nearly 30?" You should have seen this girls face. It went from pure mockery to shock to embarrassment then to shame. She tried to retracked what she had just said by saying, "but you girls do not look 30. You look so young. I thought you were 23 or maybe 24. Don't you want to get married?"I felt like asking her what does a 30 yr old look like? Wrinkly old hag with scales on her skin? No, a 30 yr old can be beautiful, inteligent and full of life.
So after a year of being withdrawn from many church social events this past weekend I was able to catch up with some old friends of mine. Here is where I started to feel normal again. I was spending time with those around the same age, those who have had similar experiences and struggels. Of course I will still have friends that will endevour to set me up with men, sisters who are always on the hunt for eligible guys in their area because they love me and want me to see me settle down. But today, I feel ok about being single. Today, I feel loved by those around me. Today, I know that there is so much life and exciting things ahead of me. Today, I will be thanking my Heavenly Father for the blessings I do have and not focus on things I don't have.
Now those that are reading this blog who are not of the Mormon faith, may not understand the fuss and still think that being 31 is still young with plenty of life to live. This is true. But, it is hard to have that perspective when the mentality and stigma of those of your peers are different. But the truth is, it is ok. There is nothing wrong with me, I am fun, fabulous and still learning about life. This acceptance has come when I needed the most.
